Beauty and the Bartender
by NeenerNoot
Summary: ::SMUT WARNING:: This is a story of what happens when you get drunk and flirt with Desmond Miles.


(Lemme say something before you start reading. . . I wrote this in three hours on a plane from Guatemala while having a horrible virus and not having slept for a week. So yeah. Excuse the poor quality of my first smutfic.)

I had realized that I was screwed when I met Desmond miles. To be perfectly frank, he was drop-dead sexy and seemed to think I was as well. We had talked (I was at a bar, by the way) and he served me all kinds of drinks. At some point, he had said his shift was over, and in my mildly inhibited state, I was sad to see him go. Though, he didn't leave. He joined me and had a couple of drinks himself. We somehow got on the flashy dance floor, each with a bottle of rum in one hand, and a hip in the other. We didn't really care for the song or trying to dance with the rhythm. It was just an excuse to be in close proximity to one another. We both knew we were smitten, and that was just fine. After the dancing was the fun part. We moved to some back alleyway where he was sure no on would see us. Here, this is the fun part; I'll give it it's own paragraph.

He shoved me against a wall and I had expected his kiss to be like an assault, but I was wrong. He softly put his hand around my neck and kissed me slowly and sensually. I melted into his soft, skilled lips like a virgin: though, I am a virgin, so lets just leave it at "he's got me good". I inexpertly mimicked his movements, but settled for letting him do all the work since I forgot how to breathe. There was already a primal hunger settling inside of me when he pressed his muscular body flush to mine. My hands snaked to his belt, feeling for the hem of his shirt so I could run my frigid little hands up and down his toned abs. I almost whined when his lips parted from mine, though my complaints where stifled when he swiftly pulled his shirt over his head, then went back to my lips with more vigor. I could feel ever contour of his body as he pressed himself to me again, and with shaking, unsure hands, I felt my way up his ribcage and to his chest. I admired his smooth skin as I lightly massaged his pectoral muscles before playfully rubbing my thumbs over his nipples, which hardened at the treatment. I gently pinched one and I heard him groan into the kiss. Then, time stopped. Every single moment of this was a new experience for me; I'm 23 and I've never been in a relationship before. He had gently pressed his tongue to my swollen lips and it was at that point that I got a little nervous. I was going to gently push him away, tell him that this was all new territory to me, but he felt my hesitation and pulled away. His dark eyes were concerned when he ever so softly placed his large hand on my cheek.

"Should I stop?" He asked without the usual humor in his voice. I won't lie; I was loving this. My panties were already soaked and I was panting so hard you would have thought that I had just run a marathon.

"I, uh. . ." What the hell was I supposed to say to him? 'I'm a virgin and I have no idea what the fuck I'm doing right now'? I decided honesty over amnesty, even if it meant I might blow my only shot at any kind of attention. "I'm kind of unexperienced. . . I've never been in a relationship or done any sort of kissing. . . Or other things." I said shamefully, averting my gaze to a really fascinating stepped-on bottle cap by my shoe. I could see his eyes widen out of the corner of my eyes, and I swear I almost started to cry. He placed his thumb and index finger on my chin and forced me to look him in the eye.

"Kiaalt, do you want to stop this?" I bit my lip. Hell no, I didn't! This man was a damn pro and I knew I'd hate myself forever if I let this pass. Besides, he seems so honest and worried. . .

"No, I really don't, but. . ." I trailed off, looking for the right words. All the while he was rubbing circles on my back with his free hand and it was driving me crazy.

"'But'. . .?" He enticed an answer out of me with his smooth voice that was a octave deeper than it had been in the bar. He spoke before I could. "Do you. . . Not trust me?" Damn him, making my heart break into little pieces. It was partially true. I hardly knew this guy. Sure, we talked for a good couple of hours over some brandy and decided that we thought one another attractive, but I'm a paranoid person. Always assuming everyone is the enemy. . . I guess I took to long to respond because his eyes clouded over and he removed his hands from me. I was about to say something, but the fucking words wouldn't leave my clumsy mouth! He leaned down to pick up his shirt from where it was discarded earlier and awkwardly played with the tag as he spoke. "I'm sorry for pushing you out of your boundaries; I really am. I just, ah.. . . Nevermind." And with that he pulled on his shirt with that same expression of hiding sadness and turned to walk out of the alleyway. "I'm not leaving you here alone. . . Please let me escort you out of here?" He slowly extended his hand and I took it. But, not to leave, you see; I gathered my courage then. It killed me on the inside to see him sad like that- and over little ol' me, for that matter! I needed to fix this. I pulled him towards me and placed my hand on the back of his head, running his fingers through his short hair. I stood on my tippytoes so I could whisper in his ear. It wasn't in a sensual way though; not to me, anyways.

"You didn't let me finish: I really want to do this, just not here. I don't want to remember my first taste of romance being in some dirty alley." I was being truthful. Though, it wasn't what I had initially intended to say, it was still true. I saw him flash a small smile my way through the corner of my eye, and I turned to look at him once I was flat on my feet again.

"Are you sure this is what you wa-" I placed my finger over his lips to stop him.

"I never lie." His lips were on mine again, and damn if it wasn't better than before! He pulled away all to quickly, though, and rapped his fingers around my hand.

"Do you trust me?" Ah, the golden question. I decided to take a leap of faith with this guy.

"Yes." I said without missing a beat. He gave me another heart stopping smile and leaned down level to my ear.

"I know a place where we can go. . . My apartment isn't far from here if you fancy a motorcycle ride." He said it so smoothly and enticingly; how is one to say no? I nodded and he lead me down the walkways to a three-story parking deck. He flashed a ticket to the guard there and led us through the gate to some stairs. We climbed them, and found the motorcycle in question sitting next to some pickup truck. The bike was beautiful, all painted a shimmering maroon and chrome metal. I hopped on behind him and wrapped my arms tight around his rock-hard abdomen as he sped off. I couldn't really tell which way; my face was pressed firmly into his back, both to drink in his many musk and cologne, and out of anxiety. I know I had said I trusted him and I wanted this, but it's only normal to be nervous when you're speeding off to some bartender's apartment on a motorbike to got get laid, right? Wait, hold on- that sounds pretty typical, doesn't it? It felt like more to me. Like I was really in love with this guy and this could be us sealing the deal. Whatever. Back to the fun stuff. He stopped in front of a apartment complex of some kind with towering windows lit with yellow light from the inside. He led me inside to an elevator, pressed number 5, and up we went. I would have laughed if there was some ghetto elevator music playing, but there wasn't, and Desmond and moved to run his fingers through my pixi cut.

"You've been quiet this entire time. . . Are you ok?" There's his heart-meltingly sweet concern again. I leaned against his chest, listening to his rapid heartbeat.

"What can I say? You've gotten me into new territory here. I'll let you do all the talking." I ran a finger under the hem of his jeans, marveling at how warm and smooth his skin was.

"Ok. . . Just promise you'll tell me when to stop?" I looked him in the eye and smiled my sweet little smile.

"I promise." He smiled again, melted my heart, and leant down to give me a light but very promising kiss on the lips. As soon as the elevator doors opened he lead me to the first room on the left and let me inside. The room was small and dark and cluttered, and I saw he had a desk lined with papers of the kind when he flipped the light switch.

"Well. . . Welcome to the lair." He said, and I couldn't help but chuckle at that.

"Lair, huh? Is this where the great beast takes his prizes and ravages them?" I said dryly. I saw his Adam's Apple bob as he swallowed in what I assume was anticipation. Before he could speak to strode towards him and placed my lips upon that spot on his neck and enjoyed myself with him. I kissed, licked, sucked, and nibbled at the small bulge in his neck as I deftly shut the door behind him and shoved him against it. Both his hands went up the back of my shirt slowly and sensually, enjoying the attention I was giving him. I felt him swallow under my lips before he spoke.

"I thought you said you've never done anything like this before?" His voice was out of breath, though I could hear the smirk he had plastered onto his handsome face.

"I wasn't lying. I spend a lot of time reading, though. . ." I moved to his pulse point and gave it the same treatment, feeling a growl reverberate through his whole body. It was at this point that I noticed the hands in my shirt had made it to the back of my bra, searching for the clasp. I smirked and pulled away from my feast, licking my lips when I saw hickies beginning to form on the abused spots on his neck. "It's a sports bra. . . Come sit on the bed with me and I'll take it off." I managed to make every word drip with lust; I could only tell I had succeeded when I looked at Desmond's slightly flushed face a dilated eyes. He licked his lips and followed me to where I plopped by butt down on the edge of his bed, making my breasts jiggle and a- oh my. A twitch in the baguette-sized bulge in his pants! Gods, how did I not notice this thing before?! He's got a fucking horse wang! I guess he noticed me staring, because he advanced on me, taking his shirt off and pushing me onto my back. He then proceeded to kiss _every motherfucking square inch of exposed skin_ that he could reach. I was panting like a bitch in heat at this point and just trying to keep my fear from ruining this exotic moment. My heart was fluttering like a hummingbird, and I was thankful for Desmond being on top of me that it didn't fly right out of my ribcage. I give props to myself for not chickening out, because damn him! This felt amazing. The only sound-based response I gave so far was a gasp of surprise when he swiftly pushed his hand under my bra and groped.

"H-hey! I said I'd take it off!" I said, flustered and hardly in control of my body. I sat up slowly, my mind fogged in a state of semi-euphoria. With shaking, self-conscious hands, I began to undo the straps of my bra and pull it off. I tossed it into some corner and stared down at my legs nervously. My nipples hardened despite myself and made themselves known through my cotton shirt, attracting the eyes of a certain horse-endowed man who had me in his hands like putty. He slowly reached out to me, gouging my reaction as he gently massaged my breast, earning a blush and a shiver from me. When he brushed the pad of his thumb over the pebble in my shirt, I squeaked quietly and felt that heat coil in my belly again. He moved even closer to me and grabbed the hem of my shirt, but didn't move. He just looked me in the eyes with a question: "Is this ok?". I nodded, and I shivered when the cool air of his "lair" collided with my hot skin after he pulled my shirt over my head. He only admired my body for a moment with his eyes, before pushing me back and admiring it with his mouth. His smooth, expert lips left trails of white-hot electricity on my skin, speeding my heartbeat further. My fingers were locked in a death-grip in his short, somewhat curly hair that I couldn't stop running my fingers through as he-

"Nhg!" I stifled what appeared to be a gasping moan as he kissed the hardened peak of my breast as he massaged the other roughly. His wet tongue emerged from his wicked mouth and proceeded to drive me insane-er by licking and prodding my nipple with his tongue before taking it between his teeth and biting it ever-so gently. I raked my nails up his back desperately, very quickly losing control of the situation, and then he had to go and grab my butt and make me buck in reflex, somewhat scaring myself by grinding into his 'third leg'. He moved so quickly to kiss me that I didn't realize he did it until he nipped the tender part of my tongue that I had bitten chewed through earlier this morning. I flinched, not expecting the sharp pain, and he pulled back, with those adorable, concerned eyes of his. "S-sorry, I have a habit of chewing my tongue. . . " He understood, and smirked.

"Care if I soothed it?" Holy fucking shit. His voiced had dropped lower and was very husky. I shivered, and he used my weakness to slowly, yet sensually, claim my mouth again, gently massaging my tongue with his own. Damn Desmond and his sexy voice, his sexy body, his bedroom arts, just about everything about him because _my knickers are fucking ruined and he won't stop groping my ass and I never realized how spun up a woman could become in such a short period of time_. The great, flaming animal in my core practically roared when Desmond began to grind against my thigh. I decided to give in for now, and began to grind with vigor against his leg, enjoying the stimuli I got from the seam of my jeans on my womanly bits. Suddenly, Desmond pulled away from the kiss, looking like a feral animal with it's prey beneath it's gaze. And, hell, that was oh-so true at this moment. "I don't know how much longer I can hold out. You bucking against my leg is driving me crazy." His voice was making the beast in me even more bold! I was thankful for it, because, thought my reply was true, I was scared as hell.

"No more waiting, please. . ." I said desperately, breathlessly. I swear he fucking growled as we both sat up and began undoing our pants. I could barely manage to get my fingers to stop shaking enough to grasp the denim fold at my waist by the time Desmond had his button undone and was going for his fly. Damn him to hell, with his eagle eyes, he saw me shaking, and took my small hands in his larger ones so softly you would think he was about to do something not sexual. But, no, he gently pushed my hands out of the way and undid my button, but he locked eyes with me again. I knew what he was going to ask.

"Are you ok? It's not too late to stop. . ." I looked him right in the eye, and spoke the next words with want.

"It's far too fucking late. I never knew it was possible for a woman to get spun up this far during her first time with a man she has hopelessly fallen in love with and not go fucking insane with him doing the 'doing' with his sexy-ass self." I spat it all out in one breath, but hell if it wasn't worth the look of shock on his face.

"I just got a couple doses of mind-blow just now. Uhm. . ." He blushed! He looked so cute and sheepish, I couldn't help but take his face into my hands and plant a small, yet somehow genuine kiss on his swollen lips.

"I've been waiting for a moment like this for a very long time, Desmond. I wouldn't have done it if I didn't trust you. I'm not even one to trust people, but there's something about you. . . Something I can't explain." I punctuated almost every word with a kiss somewhere on his face, and he just stared into my eyes the whole time, one hand on my waist and the other on my neck. "Let's just say it's 'chemistry'; as cheesy as it sounds. What do you think?" I was worried- terrified, even, that he'd be all like 'Nah, I don't feel the same way' or some shit like that, but he only blinked, and then smiled without missing a beat.

"Yeah, I like the sound of that. . . I _love_ sound of that." I felt something change in me as we met halfway for a scorching, passionate kiss that only fueled my belief; I may have gotten lucky- he might just be the one! I took his hand from my hip and moved it back to the front of my pants, where he slowly, torturously unzipped the small zipper there and playfully snapped the band of my underwear. I moaned and bit his lip, urging him on. He gently pushed me onto my back, broke the kiss, and made a trail of kisses down my body as he pulled my jeans off of me. Perhaps it was me telling him that I was in love with him that made it all the sweeter, because when my underwear was peeled off of my slick skin, I felt like the beast had gone from a raging flame to bloody fireworks. I had to bite my fingers to keep from moaning as I felt his eyes scan my nethers, which no one has ever laid eyes on. One my pants and painfully pink undies were on the floor, I felt him nudge my thighs open, and I complied without pause. I really fucking wanted this. Again, he didn't miss a beat as he lowered himself level to my womanhood, kissing along my scarred thighs as he went. I did actually moan this time when I felt him kiss my clitoris and gently take it between his teeth. I had to put all of my effort into not bucking into his ministrations as he licked along my soaked folds from bottom to top. My hand shot to his hair and grabbed a fistful when he shoved his tongue into my opening and began twisting it back and forth, massaging my flushed inner walls. I had the sheets balled up into my white-knuckled fist of my unoccupied hand as he continued laving at my sensitive areas apparently enjoying me as if I were a feast. I felt his lips and tongue return to my swollen clit, and two fingers slide into my vagina, and curl upwards past my pelvic bone. His fingers pressed against something deep inside of me, and the combined effort of his tongue on my bundle of nerves and me already being so worked up led to a mind-blowing orgasm. It wasn't like the orgasms I got when I was masturbating. I felt it _fucking everywhere_. My toes curled, my back arched violently, and I nearly screamed Desmond's name as impossible, all-consuming pleasure took over, making my hips buck and my body quake as if I were being electrocuted. Desmond kept drawing it out of me until the pleasure ebbed away, and I released my death-grip on his hair and the bedsheets.

"N. . . No more. . . Too sensitive." I pleaded when he continued to "eat me out". He pulled away, and licked his lips, lapping up all of my post-orgasmic essences as I just laid limp, sated. "That was. . . Wow." I said, unsure of how else to describe it. I was almost drifting off to sleep, when I heard the rustling of clothing being removed and tossed. I sat up slugishly, and felt the beast explode to life once more in me when I got a good long look at Desmond's "extra leg". The thing was thicker than my fucking wrist (which, my wrists are rather skinny, but that's still a good 3 inch diameter he's got). My nethers began to crank out the fluids again and my mouth began to water. I swallowed nervously, and I guess I had been staring for too long, because Desmond lifted my face to meet his and noticed how flustered I was.

"Scared?" He asked somewhat humorously.

"Yes, you fucking Centaur." I teased, but I wasn't lying. He was fucking huge, and I wondered how my virgin self was going to handle him. . . He smirked and planted a needy kiss on my lips which tasted of my feminine juices. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and laid back, pulling him on top of me. Desmond pulled away to transfix me with his predatory eyes.

"I'm about to fucking loose it. . . Please stop me if it hurts." I knew he had been spun up real good by my display earlier, and I was just fine with letting him have his way with me at this point. Good boys deserve to be rewarded, after all. . . I bit my lip and gasped as I felt his hot head push against my folds. He stopped only for a moment to gouge my reaction as he pushed in more. I hissed. It hurt like hell, but all the same, the intense burning in my core was growing hotter and hotter. His head was able to breach the initial ring of muscle and slide into my womanhood more easily. The painful burn had turned into a pleasurable one as he stretched my unused muscles to their furthest point. I was wound up tight again, overwhelmed by how _fucking amazing_ it felt and, holy hell, I'm going to have one epic story to tell my bro's and brah's back home about how I finally lost my virginity. And to someone this drop-dead sexy, as well. By the time Desmond had fully sheathed himself in me, I was sweating and already grinding against him to encourage him to move. He did 'move', and he did not disappoint. He pulled almost all the way out, then pushed back into me in one fluid movement that made my nerves sing. I met his thrusts with vigor, already feeling that deep pleasure building within me. Each thrust made the bed rock and creak, and I wouldn't be surprised if it broke under our vigorous coitus.

"Desmond, Desmond, _Desmond_!" I moaned his name like a mantra, already coming close to a glorious release.

"God, I'm close, you're so fucking gooohhh. . ." Desmond swore under his breath. My tight, virgin sheath was milking him and it wasn't much longer before I went over the edge. I actually felt like I had leapt from a cliff and was falling into a great, white sea of mind-blanking, impossible to explain pleasure. I crashed head-first into the waves and, I didn't thin it was possible, but this orgasm was even more intense. I held onto the man pounding me senseless as I screamed his name through the entire drowning period. Just as I thought it couldn't get any better, Desmond suddenly pulled out of me, and vigorously stroked himself, as his seed spilled out of his penis and onto my stomach. If it wasn't the show that got me, it was the desperate "oh god, oh god, oh _yesssssss_" in that deep, impossibly sexy bur that had me drooling again. Still panting, he flopped down next to me, wrapping his strong arms around my soft waist and pulling me close, nuzzling my hair and breathing in my scent.

"Dude, holy shit. . ." I said out of breath. He chuckled into my hair and kissed my scalp, running one of his hands down my belly, when he stopped. He lifted his arm off of me and sat up.

"Fuck, it got everywhere." He said, giving me that sheepish grin again. "Sorry." I smirked pointedly, stuck my finger into the puddle of semen, and popped it into my mouth, swallowing the musky substance without breaking eye contact. His Adam's Apple bobbed as he swallowed nervously. Wait, 'nervously'? Can one do that after having just ravaged a virgin woman? Nonetheless, he stood up, claiming he was going to find something to clean me off with, and I just laid there on his soft bed, thinking. I just got laid! Cool! And it was awesome, too! Double cool! I smiled like a little kid, and took another taste of Desmond's seed. It tasted weird, like something bitter and salty and- oh, I don't know. It's weird, but it's an 'ok' weird, mostly because it's Desmond's. I smirked up at him as he returned with a damp towel.

"I, uh. . . May I clean you off?" He asked, sheepish once again. I just smiled widely at him, wondering where all of that confidence went. 'It's all over your stomach.' I thought, and had to suppress a giggle. "What?" Desmond asked as he gently wiped my stomach off.

"Nothing." I said, stretching tiredly. Suddenly, an idea formed in my head, and I grinned. "Hey, Desmond?" I called as he went to find his boxers.

"Yes, love?" He called back, and my heart jumped so hard at that statement that I was sure he had heard it crash against my sternum. Even with my now red face, I continue. "My undies got soaked during all of your teasing. . . I can't possibly wear them. Is there maybe a washing machine somewhere?" I asked innocently enough.

"Yeah, there's one on the first floor. I was going to bring our stuff down, if that's ok with you." He placed my clothes on top of his pile in a laundry bin, and made to carry it.

"Cool, but I worry I might be asleep afore they're finished washing. . . Whatever am I to do. . ." I said theatrically, enjoying that cheeky smile on his face.

"My lair is your lair. We can go get it tomorrow, if you're alright with sleeping with me." He said, even though we both knew we had agreed on doing that without the need of words. I fluttered my eyelashes sweetly.

"Such a kind young sir." I said, giggling as he came over to kiss me.

"I'm going to put this stuff in the wash. They have a snack bar down there; do you want anything?" He asked as he set the clothes bin by the door.

"I already feel bad that I'm gonna hog your bed, I will not burden you more." I said kindly. He gave me one last kiss on the forehead before gathering up the bin.

"I'm getting you a muffin." He said quickly before chuckling at my surprised "Wha" and closing the door behind him. I curled onto my side, enjoying his scent on the blankets, and feeling happier than I had ever remembered.

Kiaalt Odinsdotter is a very lucky person.

And not one day has she not been thankful for it. 3

(Plotless smut with a little bit of fluff. Yay. Now, I do warn you, this is told from the inexperienced perspective of- you guessed it, a virgin. So yeah. Took me a few hours to finish this. Hope you enjoy. I.M. me with questions, and don't for get to leave a review of your opinion!)


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